i wish i had more power and more influence. i wish i were a stronger human being. but i'm not, so fucking deal with it. :
jim a. is the biggest queen i have ever met in my life and frankly, i think i might go balistic if he takes one more thing out on me. i'm sorry if you've had a rough weekend but seriously, be fucking adult about it. suck it up and be a man. don't take it out on your crew when they as a god damned question.
i asked, "got anything for me to do today?"
(yes, silly question but really he never, NEVER gives me something to do.) and mind, you every time i walk in he looks at me like i'm this alien from another planet. he gives a 'who the hell are you' look which frankly, i'm getting really fucking tired of.
and he replies, "what do you think?" in his snarky, 'holy crap can i punch you in the face' attidude. uhm alright. i was just asking you big fucking...AHH!!!!
so he hands me stuff, and before goes "do you know how to sew"
which he asked me last time he handed me something to work on, which was for sleeping beauty. HELLO! how long have i been on your crew.
"Yes, i do." i feel like i'm going to throw up. or cry.
he hands me stuff and goes, "just follow the directions, they're very simple."
not for an ADD retard like myself.
"Are they already cut out." just checking, you know.
and he looked up and snaps, "Yes, they are." in his once again, digusting manner that makes me just want to quit.
to which, i snap, "Okay! I was just asking! sorry!" and go about my work. he looks kind of shocked, and just goes back to his..mumbling psycho talk to himself. you know, if you hate the department so much...LEAVE! plain and simple. no one would miss you alright!
anyways, he move on. and his mood totally does a 180. he's actually helping me. GASP! and talking to me, face to face, DOUBLE GASP!
and, i will give him credit for this....apologized. he said i had come in at a "bad time" (....yea right. nice try) and was just overly frustrated (its called medication!) and i said, "oh...well, i'm sorry." because i shouldn't of snapped back. but he thought i was saying sorry to coming in at my scheduled class time.
"Oh no, don't be sorry."
yea, whatev you big fat loser.
later tiffany comes in. and its like....worship tiffany time. which, yes i do too and i was grateful for her being there. but c'mon jim! grow some balls. the woman isn't lady madonna of costume design. i talked to tiffany today and apparantly jim has been cussing her out and yelling at her and shit. thats not right. i do not approve of this. i mean, i could handle christine because well...she was like a tame ...something. and not a wild bipolar tiger thing like jim a.
i can't handle it. i really cannot. he's making me NOT want to be a costumer. he's making me afraid of doing something i love to do and the only thing that i feel like i'm good at. i can't afford to have this dream taken away after i've worked so hard for it.
but i'm getting to the point where i cannot take it anymore.
i'm thinking of scheduling a meeting with jim hammond or ann demling to complain about things. and maybe see if me asking to costume design a show is a good idea or bad.
i feel sick to my stomach right now.
Current Music: the grim adventures of billy and mandy